Thursday, August 18, 2016

When Does Patience Stop Being a Virtue?

Another short entry because I need some advice. I bought a piece of tack from a FB friend four weeks ago. It's not someone I've met in person, but a friend of a friend situation and this person also runs a tack page on FB. We communicated back and forth the day I bought it, and I paid promptly. The seller told me she sometimes was a little slow to ship, but that she'd sold quite a few items so hopefully she'd have everything out in a few days. That was fine with me, I wasn't on a specific time frame.

A week later, I nicely checked in to see if she had a tracking number for me. She said no, but that she'd let me know when she shipped.

At three weeks, I checked in again (nicely), and asked for an estimated ship date. No response. And the handy FB message center showed me when she read the message.

Yesterday was four weeks, so I sent a polite message reminding her that it had been a month since my purchase and that I'd been patient, but that I needed the tack shipped or a refund. I'd rather have the tack, but I'm starting to think that's a lost cause. Again, read but no reply. This person has continued to be active posting things on FB, so I know she's seen the messages.

I also sent an email through PayPal to cover all my bases. I don't want to start an official PayPal "dispute" because again, I'd rather have the tack than a refund.

At what point (if any) would you make this public, if you were in my shoes? I've considered a bevy of actions including leaving a 1 star review with an abbreviation of the events on her tack page, posting something on my page and tagging her, commenting on her personal page, posting her information in a "bad tack sellers" group, etc.

I understand that we all get busy and have stuff going on, but a month is pretty ridiculous, especially when you can have flat rate boxes delivered to your house and print shipping labels online. I would also be a lot less angry if she would just respond to me and try to make it right, but the radio silence is really pushing my buttons. I really don't want to burn bridges (especially since she has more tack I'd like to purchase), but am I unreasonable in thinking this situation is ridiculous? What would you do?

16 comments:

  1. Personally I would just take my refund and refuse to give them my business. You can always find used tack from decent sellers. I wouldn't go so far as publicizing things.

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    1. Normally I would agree but she has some pretty unique stuff and I doubt I could find most of it without going overseas or spending 2x as much 😞 and I bought several other things specifically to match this..... ughhh.

      You're probably right that I should take the high road and not say anything publicly, but I would hate for more people to get scammed by her 😞

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    2. But if you can't get the items from her all it does is tie up your money and cause you frustration, so it really isn't cheaper.

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  2. Try the post on your page, tagging her. Wait a day. Then, if no communication, open the paypal claim.

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    1. Thank God for PayPal! At least I know I'm covered either way!

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  3. ugh that would annoy the ever loving crap out of me. especially given how much you would prefer to keep things pleasant and actually, ya know, get that thing you bought.

    maybe send her another message outlining exactly the options you write above? i don't mean be passive aggressive or threatening about it - but maybe more along the lines of "what needs to happen to get this thing moving?"

    in any case, if you can't get her to play ball like a responsible business person, then it's not really worth protecting that relationship to buy from again since it would just be good money thrown after bad anyway.

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    1. Good call! I'm trying to figure out a way to word it that doesn't sound threatening (because obviously that's not my intent). I just want what I paid for, and I'm not afraid to use the social media platforms I have as leverage, ya know?

      But yes, this whole experience would make me think twice (or three or four times!) about buying from her again, or recommending her to any of my friends..... 😠

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  4. Can the mutual friend say something? Or are there more friends in between? I'd be super pissed if something took a month to get to me knowing the item already existed and was in the USA. Lazy shipping it bad business. I'd probably comment on one of her business posts asking about the item since she hadn't responded to your messages. See if she deletes or addresses the comment. At that point, you've warned other people without giving her a review. Then I'd file a claim with PayPal. I get that unique items are hard to replace because I always seem to fall in love with saddles pads that are discontinued. But, I would NEVER order from her again, even if she sends the item.

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    1. I hesitate to involve the mutual friend only because in other situations I've been the "mutual friend" and I despise getting dragged into other people's drama, so I hate to do that to them! Haha. But it's always an option.

      I wouldn't be NEARLY this torn if it wasn't such a unique item that I want so badly *sigh* oh well.

      I think commenting on the business page is a good start. Seeing how/if she reacts to that is another good indicator. I've started the "dispute resolution" process by indicating I haven't received the item, but PayPal recommends I give the seller a few days to make it right - so I may escalate that tomorrow or Saturday.

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    2. I hope she does send it to you! Stuff that's unique enough to make you want to deal with this must be hard to come by. I'm dying of curiosity to know what it is!

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    3. I guess it won't be too much of a "tell" to say it's a saddle pad (I was trying to stay generic enough that the seller wasn't easily identifiable). I have a browband that matches it already, and I bought a Kastel sunshirt and fly veil to go with it to.... so I'm sure you can understand my frustration! 😠 I only do schooling shows right now and I really enjoy going all out on the matchy matchy so I was ecstatic about finding this pad, but clearly it's turning into a bit of a nightmare! #firstworldproblems right?

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  5. A month is way too long to wait after making payment, and a long way from "a few days." I'd file a paypal claim and not buy from the person again. It's unfortunate, since she seems to have unique stuff, but unless the item is truly one-of-a-kind, you could always stalk eBay and other tack pages & consignment stores for it.

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    1. It was an unfortunate experience all around! Ughhhh. I felt like a month was absolutely ridiculous, so glad that I'm not alone in that.

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  6. Suggestion from Codex Dressage for the win! Left a polite comment on her business page tagging her and got a message within 5 minutes promising me it would be mailed tomorrow. Guess time will tell! 😐

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    1. Awesome! I'm glad it worked! Fingers crossed that she actually ships it!

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